Phases of conflict

In processwork we define four phases of conflict:

Phase 1: the honeymoon

The group doesn’t want to focus on problems. We want to enjoy the moment, we are pleased with ourselves and with the group. It’s the group’s honeymoon. As a facilitator we might want to go to fast: problems are going to come, let’s focus on them already! This phase is neither good nor bad, it is a phase that all groups need. Don’t deny it to the group. In this phase the X (the marginalized part in the group and in ourselves) is any inner or outer trouble. ‘It’s all good, we are great!’

Phase 2: we are right, they are wrong.

We are upset. Something or somebody in the group is bothering us. In this phase the X (marginalized part) is the element we judge in the other, and disavow in ourselves: "They are too loud, too direct, too fast, too slow," while we are never loud, direct, fast or slow.

At the root of phase-2-problems are often issues of power and social rank: we feel that we in the group or as the group have less power to a given problem or society of culture. This is the phase where we create tension, and fight for social change.

As a facilitator there is often a bit of resistance to this phase: we want everybody to get along. But if we force people see the other side in this phase, they will resist. And if they come along before they are ready, they will switch back.

Amplification and exaggeration are useful facilitating a group in phase 2. This is harder with sensitive matters, painful themes where ghost roles (unspoken and often taboo points of view) swirl around. As a facilitator it is scary to go there. Also, humor is not usually not an appropriate intervention, here, but voicing a ghost role clearly is, and sometimes exaggeration helps.

Phase 2 is great for your inner comic

Whenever I am annoyed, I have my inner facilitator work with my inner system, the different parts of me and I give space to the part of my that wants to rant and rage. Looking at this phase from a standup comedy point of view, this is a fruitful phase for ideas. Standup ideas often come from things we find annoying, irritating, silly. And instead of being ‘a good person’ and getting over it, standup allows me to indulge and amplify. I find trains arriving late annoying? My inner facilitator gives space to the irritated part. Let’s indulge. Let’s amplify. Let’s rant. The more unreasonable that part gets, the higher the chance it will say something out loud that is so over the top, I will catch it, and laugh at myself. That is the moment the switch happens to phase 3.

Calvin exploring phase 2 on dream level

Phase 3: switching sides.

In this phase we not only deal with roles (different points of view and attitudes), but also with ghost roles. The last ones are collective norms and points of view which are conveyed implicitly in a group. They are in the air that we breathe. Ghost roles need to be represented and spoken about in a group, to have them made explicit. This is hard, because they are often forbidden, unpopular or taboo subjects. We are starting to avow the X may also be present in ourselves, which allows us to see the other side.

Phase 4: a sentient level of unity

This is the Essence level. Here we and the others feel connected to each other, but also to something timeless, powerful and infinite. You can feel something shifting in the atmosphere, something has been solved (for now).

Read more:

Arnold Mindell: "Conflict: phases, forums and resolutions."